Win Relationships;Not the Deal – w/Casey Jacox

Speaker 0 00:00:01 Welcome to grind grind, sell elevate with your host Tyzer Evans, a podcast dedicated to bringing you the top minds in all areas of business, entrepreneurship, sales, and leadership. Let’s elevate together.

Speaker 1 00:00:21 Everybody. Thanks for joining me on grindstone elevate. This is Todd I’m here with Casey Cox today, who is a sales leadership coach also is a podcast or like myself and an author guy stays real busy. Casey, thanks for joining us.

Speaker 2 00:00:35 No, I appreciate it. Thanks for the warm introduction and I’m happy to be here.

Speaker 1 00:00:39 Yeah, no, absolutely not often. I get to talk to somebody that’s able to do so much at once.

Speaker 2 00:00:45 Well, it’s all a, it’s all like an illusion. It’s slow. It’s one thing at a time, but, uh, it definitely is a lot. I’m learning in the entrepreneurial space that I’m not only the CEO but also the custodian to,

Speaker 1 00:00:56 Yeah, that’s I, I live with an entrepreneur, so I get to, I get to watch her go through that daily kind of, uh, being Jack of all trades. Um, talk a little bit about your background, you know, w what were you doing before you kind of jumped out on your own, and why did you decide to make that decision kind of what are you doing today?

Speaker 2 00:01:14 Well, one of my small goals and joining a podcast is always mentioned, mentioned uncle Rico. Cause it allows me to go to all my former collegiate football days. So I can, I can keep that streak alive, but no joking aside, I forced a former college athlete. I got into sales right out of school. Um, got in left that job, got into a, you know, the technical staffing and more consulting professional services space. And did that for nearly 20 years, had more success than I ever thought I’d have. And that it was our number one rep nationally tenure straight, um, left as our firms all leading sales salesperson. But in the end, who cares, right? We’re all replaceable and coaching found me. I had a chance to then spend some time to write a book that I always wanted to write, which is called win the relationship, not the deal, um, started this podcast called the quarter Baghdad cast, which allows me to joke before, but I really truly mean it almost has therapy every week, talking to dads, keeping me grounded about what’s really important in life.

Speaker 2 00:02:07 And, um, what I, what I tongue in cheek said about you, who cares about the sales piece? I, a lot of the coaching I do in my world now is, is really around vulnerability, curiosity, humility because in the end, you’re only as good as I always called it. This 1440 mindset, like be as good as you can today. Or if it’s a bad day, the best part about 12 o’clock midnight, that clock resets. And we got a chance to fix it the next day. And I don’t know if it’s like maybe my days of playing quarterback word, you know, you, you might have a good play on third down, but then the play clock resets and you’ve got 35 seconds for the next play. So anyway, that’s, I mean the brief, I know we’re short on time. This, I want to be respectful of the podcast waves time, but that’s probably the best quickest summary I can give you in terms of where I’m at, where I came from, what I’m doing now. Awesome.

Speaker 1 00:02:55 Yeah. Well, it’s always interesting. Um, I don’t know if you’ve seen this correlation throughout your career, but you know, I always feel like athletes make the best salespeople. They just have this innate drive to that competitive edge, not always the case, but I find more often than not, you know, when I’ve, I’ve hired probably like, you know, hundreds of salespeople over the course of my career, and I’ve always found the athletes are typically the ones that are powerful. Have you found that to be experienced with?

Speaker 2 00:03:19 Yeah, I definitely find them. One of the things that stick out to me is like the grit and resilience piece, you know, handling adversity, which in selling and business entrepreneurship, it’s, there’s going to be a lot of bad things that happen, but how do you stay positive? How do you find like just a, a small crack to find something they kind of keeps you motivated throughout the day? Additionally, I’d say that it’s being coachable. Um, I always say like when I enter my office here and when I was at my former employer like we had a hat rack, we couldn’t wear hats at our office, but that hat was for your ego and hang your ego at the door. And, you know, I, I joke in my kids, like there were Dame, there were games in college. I was like 27 to 35 X, you know, whatever we won, but those eight incompletions I’d get coached eight, nine times hard.

Speaker 2 00:04:03 Why’d you throw the interception. Why did you this? Where was your, where was your feet? Why did you do that? Just get, not like to ridicule, meet me down, but make me think about constant continuous growth. Yeah. I think that I’m so grateful for that experience because it did, it definitely did help me in business. And those that back to your question, you know, people that have that coachability mindset are the ones that traditionally are going to have more success than in business in life because they, they, they’re not afraid to get coached. They want to get better and they don’t let the ego get in the way.

Speaker 1 00:04:29 Totally agree. And I share this quick story with you. Um, so my, my six-year-old, he just finished his first flag football season and, uh, he didn’t want to go to the last game and was because he hadn’t, he hadn’t got a medal yet. Right. And it was, but it was a championship game. So Saturday he didn’t want to go and he’s like, I don’t want to go dad. He was so nervous about not winning the medal. And that was his focus. Right. And, and so I saw, I tell him, you know, Hey buddy, we gotta, we gotta finish what we start, you know? And it’s just the way you got to overcome it and you gotta walk through it and you got to go out there. You’re part of the team. Your teammates are expecting you to go out there and play. And you’ve been a pivotal part, or if he’s like, he’s fast.

Speaker 1 00:05:05 And, um, so anyway, so he ends up going, the team wins the championship game and he got player of the game and he got us metal. And so it was one of those, like, you know, those concrete things at six years old, you know, uh, and, and the weekend before he was at a Spartan race. And so I started to think that, you know, the earlier we can start to, I think help kids, you know, foster that positivity and overcome adversity, even, even their own little minds, it starts to help so much as you know, they turn into, we turn into adults.

Speaker 2 00:05:31 Oh man, that’s a, I love that, but he’ll run. He’ll remember that for years. Yeah. If you, I mean, I think you will. That’s one of the great questions I always like to ask. And then for sales leaders out there is, or, I mean, you know, if this resonates with you, but like one question I always love asking, even when I, before I’m coaching someone, I’d say, tell me the biggest moment of adversity in your life. And how did you use it to be successful in your life? I don’t care if it was, they crashed their bike in their paper out. They got an F and theater. I don’t care what it is, but I want to, I want to see someone that went through something bad. Cause it’s, that’s what life is. Life sucks a lot of time, but how do you stay either neutral or positive to get through it? Um,

Speaker 1 00:06:10 I totally agree. I want to, I want to go off of your, your 10 years of being number one, because to do that, I mean, people can not appreciate what type of mindset that takes. So how did you stay that consistent, you know, and not lose your drive to be number one? Um, you know, how did you, how did you really, even some had that dialed in?

Speaker 2 00:06:29 I mean, I’ve had that question, asked me before and I still come back to a moment. I was 17 years that I, I believe drilled a deep, deep level of humility into me and drive. So I was our starting quarterback, my junior in high school, I beat out a kid who was way better athlete than me into playing for the Yankees and the minor league system. I was like, I joke that I looked like Beetlejuice, like 6, 6, 1, 1 40 super skinny dorky kid. And, and, uh, but was cerebral. And I as a baby, a better leader. And it’s been a win. The job well had okayed junior year, senior year comes along. Uh, I went to a couple of camps. I started getting on some local recruiting radars like UDaB and USC Washington, and then some small schools. Well, we had this thing called a jam. And if you have those in Texas where you like you it’s like a practice game against other teams.

Speaker 2 00:07:17 And we literally just torched. Everybody were feeling good or the last play of the jam breed I get back in. And for whatever reason we call pass, play snap, slow center. I mean, the defensive tackle shoots the gap has knee gets on top of my foot. I can’t move and comes around, blast me and a break in my foot in four spots, um, would have surgery two and a half hours later. I’m a captain world goes on, who cares? We got to, we got to keep playing. So the guy beat out, he was gonna play tight end now had to play quarterback. He would go on to set our single season passing yards record. He’d go on to win, uh, take us to the state playoffs first time in 20 years. And he would be the first quarterback. Uh, Tim may also be named second team, all league.

Speaker 2 00:07:57 And I had to just watch. So that experience taught me that it’s not about me. It’s about the team it’s not about. And we’re all replaceable because it happened just like that without me knowing and what I wasn’t ready for it. And I remember about four games into the season. I had this piss poor attitude. I went to my coach and said, coach, I’m not being a captain. I’m not acting like I should. I’m embarrassed by my behavior. I need help. Like, I was like, as vulnerable as I can be. And he was like, I am so freaking proud of you. And I didn’t, wasn’t doing it for that. And he, he said, Casey, you know, it’s often better than me. Why don’t you help me go up in the booth and call plays? And I’m like, really? And literally when he said that, I felt like this energy just gets sucked out of me.

Speaker 2 00:08:37 And I said, let’s F and go, let’s go. And I was literally, then I became an offensive coordinator, helped call plays, you know, long story short then, um, got, um, the, the university of Washington coach. And then my high school coach called central Washington university and said, listen, this guy’s got no film, give a chance he will play for, and I didn’t, they, they knew more me and I luckily went on to be a three almost three-year starter All-American my senior year. And that moment, I mean, I still, and then all that adversity, it was right into to business. Like once I achieve success, it brought me back to that moment. Like, Hey, get your, maybe you’re successful. They get back in the huddle. And I was a part of, um, at the previous company I was with K one of the largest deals in the company, history, also largest funks in company history.

Speaker 2 00:09:23 The best compliment I ever see from my client was Casey. The day you want it, the day you lost it, you’re the same dude. Thank you. Um, and so for me, I hope that gives you some context of, of why, because I never wanted to be the dude at the top, like Jay Cox, a whole, you know, he got, he treats his admin like crap. He treats his team like crap. I wanted to be the dude that they’re like, that’s him, but he’s nice. And he’s respectful. He treats people well, yeah. That you can be successful and not be a a-hole to everybody. Um, so anyway, I don’t know. I love telling that story. It gets, I mean, I literally get goosebumps because it takes him back to that day when it all went down. Um,

Speaker 1 00:10:01 Yeah. What a beautiful, I’m honestly, that’s a beautiful lesson and I love that you carried that throughout your career because a lot of people you’re 17, you know, you get that, that could, a lot of people leave that behind in the past. Right. Uh, but you carried that lesson throughout your life. So that’s really beautiful. Uh, thank you for sharing that. And the things I also wanted to ask you about, did you have six common strategies, uh, to become more successful? And I was hoping you can kind of walk us through those. And I figured those played into a little bit of your sales success. And obviously I think you obviously elevate all the way to become president of the company as well. Right? So you didn’t just stay in sales.

Speaker 2 00:10:37 Yeah. It wasn’t like there were publicly traded companies. So I wasn’t like the president, but I was like, president world is a client strategy group. So like, my job was, um, con at the end of it, I was the executive sponsor for sweet accounts. I was, um, helping change kind of moving from a different level of services and set account doing some coaching leadership work. But, um, yeah, it’s back to that. The six, the six things. I, when I, when I sat down to write my book, I had the idea for nine years and I didn’t, I didn’t want to write it when I was still at K force, my previous employer. Cause I did, I would just, I didn’t want to be distracted. I didn’t want it to be an excuse. And so once we do, uh, Greta part ways, which is, you know, a great divorce, I still am great con great in touch with all those folks.

Speaker 2 00:11:20 Um, I’m like, now’s the time. And so I did this like word mapping exercise, and I just thought, okay, what were all the things that I did or emotions or actions that helped lead to success, success over consistently and well down to like some words. And then I just kind of start putting them together. And then so chapter, one’s all about power. The golden rule seems basic. We’re five, six years old. You probably teach your son, Hey, be nice everybody at school, but we get to be adults. You can just, you can be rude to finance. You can be rude to the front desk. You can flip someone off on the way to work. You know, I always ask people like that moment, when you go to Starbucks and someone buys your coffee, and then I, then I say, well, what do you usually do next?

Speaker 2 00:11:59 Will you pay it forward? Right. So I ask people, so what, why do we need that moment to start our day? Why can’t we start the day and just assume that someone just bought my coffee, go, go pay it forward to someone else and watch what happens. Your culture, your relationships. Chapter two is about expectation management. You know, little, like little things. Like if you’re going to be late, let someone know if you tell them you’re going to call the state, do it seems basic. Most sellers don’t do it. That’s uncommon. Chapter three is about the difference between listening and hearing. We believe we’re so important. We’re so busy. We can multitask. We can’t. Our brain is not wired to multitask. If I’m talking to you and I’m looking at it on my phone, that’s not respectful. I want, I tell my clients like be the Maya Angelo, create that my Angela moment where it’s not what you said.

Speaker 2 00:12:40 Why said about how you make people feel when you leave the room? Chapter four is all about documentation. I was a CRMs psycho, um, Sierra need to look like I went to Harvard. I didn’t, um, there’s not, I mean, I couldn’t be the custodian that joined. Um, chapter five is all about practice. Um, too many sellers want to just wing it. And I always say, what would your cloud, what would your customers feel if we said you practice on them daily? You know, chapter five is also about ego and humility. And then chapter six is all about patience. Relationships take time and perseverance, and you can’t force them. Usually we at, once we start asking the right questions, use curiosity, then relationships will go to another level. So those are really the six things that I, and as the author I’ve read the book seven or eight times, I just put out an audible version this year. So I, I, I wrote, I spoke it and I still learned something from myself, which is embarrassing to say, right? And so I think I wrote the book probably for myself as reminders. Like these are the things to focus on. Um, they’re not sexy. They’re not a lot of the stuff I wrote about I didn’t create. I’m just, I’m just giving it my own spin on it. But these things have been around for two, 300 years.

Speaker 1 00:13:50 I think that they’re all great really core pillars and they’re ones I can relate to in sales. Um, a lot. I mean, I mean, I don’t know if I’ve had the same level of success you have, but I’ve been around the country, you know, selling for the last 15, 16 years. And I think, you know, setting expectations is really interesting, especially when things start to go sideways or now I’m an insurance underwriting’s behind and you don’t want to tell a client that, Hey, it’s going to be two more days. And then, you know, by not telling them it’s two more days, you piss them off, as opposed to just having complete transparency and honesty. That’s a huge, that’s a huge takeaway. The listening and hearing another thing. Is there anything that you think that you do to like key in, let them know that you’re effectively listing is made you stop and kind of repair phrase or let you know, cue in and let them, uh, the, the client Q and that they need to know that you’re listing

Speaker 2 00:14:38 A couple of things come to mind. I think silence is your friend. So if I, if I ask a question or you ask me a question, I’m, I’m, uh, I like, if I’m on zoom, I’ll tap my finger behind the scenes. You can see, I usually like to give two or three taps in between speaking so that I let someone think. Right. Um, the other thing I do to show that I listen is I love the power of like a meeting recap that I said, I thank you for your time. This is exactly what we, and I tell them it’s coming to, until they get to get ahead of it. Like, Hey, want to just take a minute, recap what we talked about, swam. And it was so we’re in alignment of what next steps are. And I’ll say, you know, here’s what I heard.

Speaker 2 00:15:12 Here’s some of the challenge you’re facing here. Next steps. If there’s anything I’ve missed, please let me know. And just, that is uncommon. I’m finding, right? And I learned that from one of the mentors I use had ended my career. And, um, these are like basic little things that sellers can do to really start separating themselves. Um, I think also back to listening is just be curious. Don’t just ask one question. I use a framework. I got taught called Ted. Tell me, explain, describe, I love it. I use it on my kids. And so if someone, I ask a question to uncover pain or problem, and someone says, yeah, this is, this is, this is not working. Most sellers will go into well, great. I have a perfect product for you. Let me open up my trench coat and show ya versus I mean more about that, right? To describe why that is negative, negatively impact. You know, tell me how, what would happen if we made that go away, like make them think from, you know, worst case scenario, best case scenario. And, um, so anyway, those are some of the things I think about.

Speaker 1 00:16:06 No, I that’s so powerful. I was lucky. I had a really good mentor who was, uh, obsessed with good to great. It was like his playbook. And, you know, he hired me in my first insurance job at 25. And he walked me through, you know, kind of like a script on how to sell. And it was always tell me more. And what else, tell me more, what else tell me. And he just, he would just drill those questions in. And so as you go through the discovery phase, it wasn’t like that you’d get like a snippet and then just, you know, info dump. It was like, well, tell me more about

Speaker 2 00:16:37 The deals are won or lost in discovery. Always, always. And as sellers, I just, one thing I talk about, we either can say, deal, get stuck. We can say a client, they lost budget. They didn’t know what they’re talking about. Or we say, I didn’t ask the right questions and we can be show humility, vulnerability, go back to a client, say, Hey, I’m bummed. We didn’t get picked. Tell me one thing I could have done differently. One question I could’ve asked differently, like always seek feedback. And I, I find when I do that, sell the clients that they’re like, this guy’s like legit. And I do, I want to learn. And that goes back to these days of college football, where, who cares. We won the game, who cares, but there’s, there’s always something to be focusing on getting better than I’m improving.

Speaker 1 00:17:17 And I think that that goes to number five practice because I find it interesting. And I talked about this a few other times, so I don’t maybe get your take on it. You know, it’s like people graduate high school or college. And then it’s like, Hey man, I learned all I need to know. And they go out into the world and they try to, they try to work from there. And then they wonder why 20 years later, they haven’t advanced. They haven’t developed, you know what I mean? That they feel kind of unfulfilled. They’re making the same amount of money. Their life didn’t turn out the way they want. And I really attribute that because you stop learning, you stop growing and you know, you should treat your craft like you do. You’re playing a sport is how I see it. I mean, I get your take on that.

Speaker 2 00:17:54 Yeah. Well you’ve made me think of my favorite Tommy that sorta quotes, uh, rest in peace, Tommy, when he said there’s three types of people in life, people who wonder how things happen, wonder how things have been watching, watch things happen or people who make things happen. And you, you have to keep getting better. Like I didn’t do. I’m sure you can really, this, we didn’t just wake up like, Hey, I want to do a podcast and it just gonna happen. I’m just gonna get click the buttons. I mean, in the blind, leading the blind here I am marketing. I am production. I didn’t know anything about garage band. I didn’t know how to edit, edit. And I had to learn and grow and shout out to my former teammate, Thai Nunez who helped me do this stuff. Um, the power of just saying, I don’t help me out.

Speaker 2 00:18:34 Tell me more about it. This is so fun to like grow because you’re improving a skillset. Complacency is a silent killer for salespeople and people who get in work because they realize things are just going to always stay the same. And I always believe that change is going to happen. Either you deal with it or you get dealt by it. And so I might as well keep learning and growing and whether it’s reading books or, um, and that’s the one thing I, I did other sarcastic joke. One of my biggest reasons for writing a book was to prove that as football guys can put sentences together and my book is not a scratch and sniff. I promise you that

Speaker 1 00:19:09 At my, my best friend, uh, he was O-line at Arkansas state

Speaker 2 00:19:14 Online brotherhood. Yeah. And

Speaker 1 00:19:16 He’s, you know, he’s a, he’s a financial advisor. He’s actually mine. So I ha I have faith. I had faith in you guys, a little man on my money. Um, no, I really, I really love the six steps. And I think that the last one I want you to hit on the CRM is self explanatory. You’re crazy. It’s your biggest weapon. If you don’t use your CRM, but it’s the patients, you know, letting things foster and com you know, not getting discouraged. How do you, how do you like coach somebody to say, Hey, you know what? Like it, you can’t get discouraged from the rejection, you know, and maybe someone’s not an athlete. How do you start to have them switch on that mindset?

Speaker 2 00:19:52 Yeah. I think you have like, um, again, I’ll quote my, our boys, Stephen Covey begin with the end in mind. So you have to kind of start to visualize things. Things always happen twice once when you think it. And then once when you do it, and that’s what we do, it limits mind. Doesn’t even talk the power of staying neutral and thought, but visualization, like someone’s going to do it. Why not me? Um, so patience is all about, like, if I try to convince you to do something, which is the art of persuasion states. If I try to convince someone to do something, they’re going to resist me. If I ask great questions of value, or to help uncover pain or problem, they’re going to convince themselves they have something to do, which is all about value based selling. So, you know, patients for me is like, if I, if I’m trying to force something to do it, I have to tell myself, I have to think about like, um, there’s this, I wish I had this diagram and I could show you, but it’s like, imagine like left is like negative negative version of me in the right is the positive version of me in the middle.

Speaker 2 00:20:41 We talked about the circle being me noticing a difference. And so if I, if I feel myself getting frustrated and trying to convince someone or push them, I need to ask myself, okay, I need to rewind the tape and figure, I’m not asked the right questions here. I have not done an uncommon, uh, activity or follow up or message or whatever it may be to like, make them see me in a different light. If I’m doing things that are common, then I’m going, I’m going to be like everybody else. And most sellers, they expect one phone call, Hey, yeah, I have $6 million. Can I spend it with you? Which doesn’t happen. Right. I tell a story in my book where there’s one of my best customers, shout out her Navy. And if you took me five years to work with her, I worked with our team.

Speaker 2 00:21:23 But that moment, when you finally get the chance to go meet someone, just like M and M talks about one, you know, one shot, you gotta be ready and prepared, which is per being prepared. As about the questions you’re going to ask, understand their business, understand what’s going on in their world. Don’t just go and wing it. And so I think you can be patient with all those things in mind, knowing that this is a journey you’re going to be, you know, I hate that, you know, the marathon, the sprint, but it’s so true. It’s it takes time. Like you didn’t, you’re what, 15, 16 years in what you’re doing. You didn’t just show up and were, maybe you did. I don’t know, but take the, that, that grind of going through it. If you, if you have the mindset that it’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna be so worth it once you get through there.

Speaker 1 00:22:03 Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, I, you know, one of the things that, a story like yours was in five years, but, um, you know, at, uh, the last company, I was at a similar industry, I just kind of went more upstream, uh, recently. But, uh, this guy I knew he had, he was right. Target client, connected had brief conversations, kind of blew me off. I didn’t hear the guy from the guy for another 14 months, but I called him 17 times and I sent him, you know, 13 emails. Right. Finally, finally, I kept digging. I started talking to other people in his team. I got his business partner on the phone business partner, then set up a meeting for us, went to the meeting, well prepared. Like he just said, I ended up writing a million and a half dollars worth of business over the next six months with him. But most sellers would have given up after that third or fourth phone call. And I tell people, I called the guy sat there, like you were stocking them. I’m like, no, I had something of value to bring to him. Right. And so I just was not going to let up on that. And so just, just to keep pushing forward, I just think it’s such great advice.

Speaker 2 00:23:06 W one of the things I was going to say is you made me think when you said that story at 17, I don’t nine. If I call this guy 17, but early in my career, I used to, I like using my personality to be authentic and genuine and count Allie and report that that’s the most fun thing about selling it. Just, how do you get someone to say like, God, that, that guy just really say that. And it’s like, you just kind of like chill, get people know that, Hey, we’re all normal. I remember early in my career, some of your sellers might not even know it at the thing. Cause it’s called a fax machine. And it’s like this weird electronic thing that would make weird noises, like a dog and heat going through it. And so I was like, man, I’m going old school.

Speaker 2 00:23:41 This guy won’t call me back. He won’t email me. So I’m faxing him. I wrote a handwritten and I said, Hey, I believe you’re the right contact. Um, here’s what we do. I believe you hire, use our services. I can get you via phone. I can get you via email. So I’m gonna use something that worked for me when I got my girlfriend in fifth grade. Um, if you could just please review with a note, check a box and fax it back to me. I really appreciate it. I was like, what am I going to lose? So I’m like, I might as well have some fun the dude to this day, I still tell a story he checked. And the options were like, who are you? Question mark, stop calling me one more email. I’m going to call the police. I think you sound someone interesting.

Speaker 2 00:24:17 Or, you know, I like what you’re saying. Let’s set up time to meet whatever the guy checked the box he wanted to meet. He wrote a cell phone number on it, on it. And he said, your persistence has reached diligence, not annoyance. Thanks for your follow-up. And it was like the biggest win. I don’t know how much business I got out of the guy, but like the fact of like sales the game, like if you can like just win. That’s why. And that’s why I probably wrote the title of the book. You know, when the relationship it’s all about people, if you win people, deals will eventually come.

Speaker 1 00:24:45 I agree. I totally love it. Casey. Um, talk to us a little bit. I want to hear a little bit more, um, about the podcast too, for other dads lists.

Speaker 2 00:24:53 Yeah, no, I, I appreciate that. Um, and you’re going to be future guests, which you can’t, I can’t wait to highlight your story. Um, the idea came to me when I just realized that there wasn’t a lot of bad stuff out there. Um, at least when I first was doing this, this, I launched it in 20 January, 2020, and I did, it was mainly it’s one episode a week during COVID the height of code. I was doing two a week. This was really before my sales coaching thing kind of start taking off. And, um, the goal was I wanted to hear dad’s stories. I want to hear how they grew up. I wanted to hear how their parents impacted them. And I wanted to hear how those, those experiences of life now affect how they parent their kids. Um, I talked to them about what they’re doing in life business.

Speaker 2 00:25:31 Um, I also get them to talk about an area of their dad game that they aren’t as good as they want to be, which requires some vulnerability. And in the end I’ve yet to meet the perfect dad. I’m still, I’m still searching for it, which is never gonna exist. We all got gaps. You know, I, I talked about patients and fatherhood. Sometimes that I, that was, that was a struggle for me. And so I have to be really self-aware to, to, to choose my thoughts or reactions before I react. Um, and it’s, it’s, it’s super funny. I get dads to open up. Cause I think most guys, we have the, we get the label that we don’t like to talk, but I’m like the opposite that you get a good episode of punky Brewster, and I might, I might tear up. Um, and then we have this fun game where we go to lightning round, where I just ask you the most random uncle Rico, um, effects of CTE hits.

Speaker 2 00:26:14 I took. And I just like try to get you to giggle and, um, last about 45 minutes to an hour, but it’s, it’s fun. It’s just, uh, I met some amazing people. I’ve been honored. I’ve been very lucky to have some really, really, really cool guests, uh, from like, you know, Lorenzo Romar, NCA basketball coach, kinda Michael Jervey, who’s the, um, he’s a very famous, um, you know, psychologist, Seattle Seahawks, sports psychologist, as well as like the Seattle Mariners, both announcers. I know that you as a Houston guy probably won’t appreciate that, but all my Mariner fans, like we got rigorous, how’d you get that? So, anyway, it’s fun. I just, I love talking dads and it gives, it gives me a chance to learn, to be a better dad for me and my kids.

Speaker 1 00:26:55 I think you’re right. And I, well, I love it. Um, you know, it’s interesting. I, I, I was on a podcast last week and it was with two, two guys and I was talking about, they’re asking about my morning routine and those types of things, you know, I get up mindful practices and whatnot. I said, yeah, man, because us men, we get pigeonholed. You know, our society really focuses a lot and as they should, you know, right on how society conditions, women, we don’t often talk about how society conditions men and especially fathers. And we’re really looked at to be one or two dimensional all the times. You know, we’re, we’re thought to be like you procreate and then you’re kind of the disciplinary or the fun dad, you’re usually one or the other, and then you make money and then it’s just, you know, and a lot of guys get stuck in that, in that kind of trap and being one of two dimensional. Um, so I think it’s really important to bring to light and allow men to have space, to talk and to just show their vulnerabilities and, and to, you know, to connect with one another. So I really applaud you for doing that. I love it.

Speaker 2 00:27:51 No, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it’s fun. It’s, it’s, it’s a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 00:27:56 Um, Casey kinda, uh, wrapped this up a little bit, you know, I want to know where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Speaker 2 00:28:04 Um, being happy, being, uh, curious, um, finding a way to grow, um, you know, I’m not a big, like I’m going to, I’m going to have 84 clients by this day. I sure. I read, I read a book called the surrender experiment by Michael singer that was referred to me. And it was a little little for me out there in terms of like, is this is really true. And the power of it again, Andy’s Andy parks, a friend of mine, he referred it to me and it made me think about surrendering the fact that I don’t have to have all the answers. And it brings a lot of peace. It’s really opposite of how I thought about my business career, my corporate job, because I was like, I had to be thinking, but now I just, I just surrender to the fact of, I want to serve the, you know, what out of each person I talked to, I want to be a boomerang, meaning that I want to just keep throwing acts of service out and not keep score.

Speaker 2 00:28:53 And knowing that they’re going to hopefully come back one day and I’ve lived that way. I’m so laser-focused on that man, that there’s days I come back, I’ll get like four or five things to happen. Like, oh my God. But it’s because of just back to that chapter, when I treat people the way I wanna be treated. And, um, so I hope for me, I’m still running my own shop. Uh, I hope the fact that I’m interviewing some great dads. I hope that maybe I will have a second book out. I do have some thought about that. I’m close to be ready to come. I’m not quite ready yet to say I’m going to do it, but it’s, I am 90% sure. It’s going to be on curiosity.

Speaker 1 00:29:27 Oh, I love that. Yeah. That’s something that would be unique, um, that you haven’t really seen out there that would be pivotal. Where can people pick up your book?

Speaker 2 00:29:35 It’s on Amazon, just search for a win, win the relationship, not the deal it’ll come up. There’s a, I’ll give a huge shout out to the 89 or 90 folks who’ve left an organic review, um, and just shared some really nice thoughts. Um, I’m also on LinkedIn is probably a great way to, to follow me as well. Or you can check me out. It does Casey J cox.com.

Speaker 1 00:29:55 All right, cool. I will post the link for everybody listening. Know what? You’re watching this on YouTube or listening to the podcast. I’ll post a link to Casey’s podcast, to his book and to his website and LinkedIn. So everybody can scroll down and connect by the book, especially if your dad, um, you need to scope the scope, the podcast. I think it would probably be insightful. I’m excited to, for us to chat. Um, and any last words, advice for salespeople, dads, leadership,

Speaker 2 00:30:24 The, uh, I will, the last you made me think of this now. Um, one of the best pieces of advice I got in my life, uh, early in my first job, that is the advice that I don’t want to hear sometimes, but I need to hear. And as you can be right, or get what you want, rarely do you get both and it’s great for marriage. Um, usually when I’m so fired up or passionate about something, I have to check myself and like, why, why is this is a big deal? Is it because I want to be right. Improve some of that, I, they should be thinking about I’m thinking or is it, you know, like, what is the outcome I want? And I think sometimes people will be like, we’ll say, well, you don’t just lay down and do it. It’s like, I’m not saying that what I’m saying is think about why we’re so passionate about something. Is it because of you or is there a way for you to think about a greater, a greater good we’re going after? So I hope that hope that resonates people that have definitely helped me a lot in my life.

Speaker 1 00:31:14 Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, Casey, thank you. I’ve really enjoyed this conversation. I wish we had more time to be honest with you. Uh, I really, I really enjoy your energy, um, and what you’re doing and, you know, it’s, you’re authentic in the way that you want to serve people and you convey yourself, uh, very well and that translates and people pick up on that. So I have no doubt. You’ll have 10 times the amount of success you had in your corporate life, um, on your entrepreneurial journey, what, the way you go out things. So thank you so much for your time today.

Speaker 2 00:31:46 Thanks again.

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