Speaker 1 00:00:20 All right, everybody. This is Ty on grind sell elevate, and I’m here with Daniel Tolson, who is the founder of the Tolson Institute. Daniel, thanks so much for coming to the show today.
Speaker 2 00:00:30 it’s very nice. I, um, met with a business person in Texas, not long ago. And the theme for this city was how can we help you become more successful? So I’ve got and good experience. And I’ve been to Texas a couple of times and loved it. When I was there.
Speaker 1 00:00:47 I said, it’s a, it’s a great state. I’ve gotten the pleasure of living all around this country, east coast, west coast. And so far, this has been my favorite spot to live in. So I’m glad you got to interact with some good Texans.
Speaker 2 00:01:01 Yeah. I’ve got an uncle that he’s tall and hazing. He built a business. He started in California. And then I think because of the tax benefits, he moved over to Texas and then he operated a business with 500 employees and he said, and he loved Texas because they’re all about big business.
Speaker 1 00:01:15 Th they are about big business and a small taxes, except for those property taxes crushy here. Other than that, it’s all, it’s all. It’s all good. But why don’t you go ahead, introduce yourself to people who may not know you or exactly what you do.
Speaker 2 00:01:30 Well, my name is Daniel Tulsan. I’m a business coach who specializes in emotional intelligence. So my clients want three things from me. They want to catapult their influence. They want to accelerate their impact, and they want to unleash new income levels. And the clients that I work with, first of all, they want more for their life. They, they’re not satisfied with being in the top 10%. They want to be in the top 1% and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to reinvent themselves. And all of a sudden something will grow through emotional intelligence. I met a gentleman a couple of years ago in real estate, and he was losing six out of seven sales. And it was his self-awareness. That was the problem. He’d had training from the best companies. He had the lightest technologies, but he’s self-awareness was low. So he didn’t realize he was offending people.
Speaker 2 00:02:14 He came to me because he wanted to correct that he corrected that and he started to close six out of seven deals. And that resulted in a 250% improvement in his sales revenues in under one year. So that’s, my specialization is really helping people become more emotionally aware. And as they become more emotionally where they’re more influential, because if you can’t understand your Sophie can’t understand others, they start to accelerate their impact and they can have a bigger impact in the community. And this gentleman took his business from having 14 agents to 25 agents. And then of course they unleash new income levels. And for him, it was a 250% growth in his personal sales revenues. So that’s my sweet spot. That’s what I do as a coach.
Speaker 1 00:02:54 That’s incredible. I love it. You just said you understand yourself. And I think that I I’ve talked to several times on here and, and I fully disclosed on here that I felt like I was someone who grew up with like a, a scarcity mindset. And so I felt like, you know, especially in my twenties, it really prevented me. I was always been a top producer, but I was never number one. Right. I feel like I always kind of held myself back. So when you meet with somebody, you can see that they’ve got a lot of potentials. I think we all have a tremendous amount of potential we can tap into, but where do we start to really, truly start to understand ourselves?
Speaker 2 00:03:30 Well, there’s five pillars of emotional intelligence. And the first one is self-awareness. This is understanding why way think and feel the why that we do now for a lot of us who get into selling, we’re either really good at selling products or services, and you’ve got to make a really good choice. What you’re going to sell it. Are you going to sold products or are you going to sell services? If you’re things up a person, you love things like iPhones and iPads go and sell products. But if you’re an ideas person, you love education, go and sell services. So sales success starts with choosing the right product or service for you. And it’s understanding those light X and dislikes. The second thing is self-regulation, you’ve got to know your numbers. When you get into real estate, you’re going to owe or any sales job, you’re going to get rejected more times than you are accepted.
Speaker 2 00:04:20 So you’ve got to learn to roll with that rejection. And you’ve got to accept that rejection is just part of the process and it’s not personal, but most people get a couple of rejections and they quit too soon. And so, as we all know, the, the greatest number of sales occur after the 12th to 15th and the contact with the client. And if you’re that person who can have that emotional resiliency and manage your fees, then you’ll push through and you’ll continue to close until that 15th contact and you’ll win. The third one is resiliency, and we call this motivation, but it’s not that jump up and down top of motivation. It’s that resiliency from within it’s falling down and getting back up. And most people, they get into a good market. And I was listening to the gym that you interviewed recently in real estate, where he built a huge business.
Speaker 2 00:05:08 Yeah, anyone can succeed in a good market, but it’s that person who can succeed in a down market that will ultimately succeed, right? So you’ve got to have that resiliency to weather. The storm, the fourth area is social awareness. If you don’t understand Iran, emotional makeup, it’s impossible to read other people’s emotional makeup. And when you get into selling, it’s not about you. It’s about the customer. You could have sell how the customer likes to buy, but if you can’t read the customer’s emotional makeup, you don’t have my castle, but, well, what did that guy back in nice side of the office app, bloody wanker of a client. Didn’t know what blogging thing about anything I have to ride them. And then the fifth area is social regulation, and we’re going to become great communicators. We’ve got to be able to get our ideas across in very simple terms. So people make decisions in their right brain, which is the emotional brain. The emotional brain operates like a seven year old or a nine year old child make it simple. And if we start to work on these five key areas, then you’ll block the sales of saying real estate agents increase their sales incomes by adding 9% in a year, just by improving emotional intelligence alone.
Speaker 1 00:06:23 I’ve always been curious at this because, um, I I’ve been blessed that I’ve been a top producer really, since I was a new am I my first sales gig selling surfboards, uh, since I was 20 and I’ve had a good, good, good streak last 17 years, but I always came back to, I had a little bit of a rough childhood. And so I was always having to be very aware of little things that I would say, or the way that someone would look at me or little gestures to read people. And so I felt like in sales, I would pick up on different cues more than the person sitting next to me saying the exact same thing. Have you seen that as like a common trait that some people just have a better EEQ than others versus somebody have to learn it, or that might just making that up.
Speaker 2 00:07:09 What it’s called, it’s called sensory acuity. That’s what it’s called. And, and we learned this, we said, there’s five principles of success. And the third one is sensory acuity. This is your ability to read the emotional makeup about the people. And so it’s your ability to use your senses. We get presented with more than 2 million bits of information per second. This gets filled to Dan into the little chunks of five or seven chunks of information. And so what would have been happening for you these instead of paying attention to yourself, you would have been putting your attention on other people. And when your attention is on other people, you can see these subtle shifts. Now, the first thing that you tend to see in a buy when there’s a buying signal is they’re going to say a flush of the skin color. The skin becomes dark and it starts to rise from the neck up.
Speaker 2 00:07:59 And then it folds. Now, if you will thinking about being interesting and thinking of the next smart thing to say to the customer, you’re going to miss those buying cues, but it tells me that your sensory way, and you’re observing other people. And your attention is on the other person, which in the sales, the spotlight is on the buyer, but most people get into selling because they want the spotlight on them. Look at me, look at me, look at mine, look at my watch customer. Doesn’t care about YOKA you’ll watch, right? They want to feel special. So you would have been observing. The other thing that you would have been noticing would have, you would have been noticing this shift in their tone of voice. So when they liked something, their speed of voice might’ve sped up or slowed down, but you would have noticed that subtle difference where most people don’t. And so we call this sensory acuity and old top performers have high levels of sensory acuity, people with low levels of success in sales, they aren’t sensory aware and they can observe others. So, yeah, it’s an actual thing.
Speaker 1 00:09:02 That’s interesting. No one’s ever explained it to me that way, because I’ve seen that, you know, when you’re on I’ve, you know, it being in leadership and stuff like that for in and outs of different parts of my career, I’ll be in a meeting with a rep. And I know when the other person’s done, right? Like me, shut it off time to go wrap it up, put the presentation in the bag, but then people just keep talking and talking and I’m like, shut it down. Right? It is. That’s the one thing I have seen a, a big difference though, over the years with some people who get it. And some people who don’t, I didn’t know if there was a common thread that, you know, that nurture versus nature makeup. It’s a lot of your environment of how you grew up. Or some people just innately have it, regardless of that
Speaker 2 00:09:45 Sensory acuity, cane bay and inborn attribute. But for the majority of people, it’s actually in a quiet attribute. So an inborn attributes, something that’s born within you. Yes. We all have people observing a skills. However, what we have to do is we have to hone that skill. So it’s more of an acquired attribute. And I teach my clients how to read people. Uh, one of my family members owns a mushroom farm and mushroom farm is essentially fungus, but we have 175 people harvesting mushrooms and producing 120,000 kilos of mushrooms in one farm every week. Imagine that 120,000 kilos of mushrooms, they’re this big, it’s a huge production. Now the top performing managers and the top performing growers in this environment can walk into a room and they can smell disease. So you can imagine this, you walk into a room and there’s 30 people working there and you can smell a disease mushroom. And so there’s sensory awareness when it comes to scent is so acute that they can adjust temperatures. They can just water levels almost immediately based off or scent. But it’s something that they’ve learned over years. So in the sales, it’s one of the things that we’ve got to do, but can I ask you a question? Ties? Absolutely. You said you loved that. You said you were selling surf boards when you were in your twenties. Were you a surfer?
Speaker 1 00:11:09 I did. I did. Well. I attempted, yeah, I wouldn’t know. That was a good one, but I did do it frequently. Yes.
Speaker 2 00:11:13 Did you enjoy surfing? Loved it. They would go see a lot of people when they get into selling, they try to sell a product that they’re not passionate about. Yeah. I was a white boarder. I used to sew whiteboards and I was an Australian champion. So when it came to white, but I was already convinced it was the best thing of all to do. So when people met me, they picked up on my phone and they’re like, dude, this guy’s hot. He wants this. He’s really interested. So we’ve also got to find products and service that we’re really passionate about. People are selling products and services that they wouldn’t even buy themselves. You know, your opening comments. Uh, when we started talking, I mentioned your 10 X hat. And you said you were an investor in cotton capital. You’re investing in, and now you’re even wearing the merchandise you sewed, you convinced. And so we’re going to have the same thing I got into my business because it made a massive impact in my life. And I looked around and said, I want this for my family. I want this for my friends. And I’m passionate. We’re up saying other people come in and go. You can make a bunch of money here, but they never make anything because they’re not convinced about the product and service they’re selling and it doesn’t work for them. So that’s a big thing in selling as well.
Speaker 1 00:12:20 I, 100% agree. And I want to get your take on this because I’ve spent the majority of my career, uh, selling insurance, right since 2009 up until present day. And I don’t really see it stopping in, in the foreseeable future. And I’ve sold auto insurance, uh, group, group, health insurance, that type of thing. It’s hard to, it’s hard to get passionate about insurance, right? And so I try to the way that I’ve always tried to frame it to my reps is you may not be passionate about insurance, but you could be passionate about helping people. So how do you maybe start to help somebody that’s in a very boring industry and they have no interest in it, but it’s very lucrative. And so how do we start to position this, to wrap our mind around, um, finding that kind of passionate about what we’re doing, although it’s a boring industry.
Speaker 2 00:13:07 Let me give you, let me give a story. In 2010, I’ve got a phone call and when you’re in business or when you’re in a career or you we’re in life and you get a phone call at 4:00 AM in the morning, it’s never good news. No, I’ve never had a phone call at 4:00 AM that somebody says, Hey, you’ve just won a million dollars, knew someone’s died. So I pick up the phone and, uh, it’s I used to be a co-leader of a team of 17,000 people at Emirates airline. And the voice on the phone said, there’s been an aircraft accident, but this is not IP support call. And I said, what is it? They said your fiance’s been involved in an accident. Well, can you come down to the hospital immediately? So I went down to the hospital and they is my fiance. And she’s been in an accident and she’s in a plastic cast from her ankle to her hip.
Speaker 2 00:13:54 And the doctor said, we’re going to have to remove the kneecap. It’s been shattered in the accident. I’m going to have to pull it out straightaway. And I said to him, I said, if you pull out the knee cap, it’s going to look like she’s got a sausage as a leg, right? You need the kneecap. And he said, look, I’ll do my best to try to fix it. So he put it back together and it was five pieces and he wired it back together. Now over the next two and a half years, my wife was flying around the board at no expense to her. She lost no income. And for two and a half years, she received an insurance payout. So that insurance protected her life. It protected her health and it protected the home that she lived in while she lived in a foreign country.
Speaker 2 00:14:37 So familiar with insurance, I’ve had a wonderful experience and it’s saved a life. My wife was left with a permanent disability, but for that three years, she was taken care of. Now, the reason why I’ve told you this story is because is important in my life. And I want that feeling of safety and security for other people, right? So what I encourage people to do is when you’re selling a product and service, think about how this has impacted in your life. What’s the impact that it’s had. Is it that peace of mind, that when you got a bit United, that your family safe and protected, and what you do is you sell that feeling. So what we’re going to get to in the selling is all decisions are made in the right brain, which is the emotional brain. People don’t care about logic when they make the decision. The end decision is always emotional. So what we’re gonna do is we’re going to get emotional about our product, and then emotions are contagious. It’s like, COVID-19 emotions are contagious. If I’m excited, if I feel peace of mind, if I feel safety, the other person’s going to buy into that emotion. And that’s when insurance gets really excited. And I know this because my wife just trained 600 insurance people here in Malaysia. And it’s that transfer of enthusiasm. That’s what might succeed Sonic.
Speaker 1 00:15:55 I love that. I totally love that. And that’s a great perspective. And that’s how I try to look at it. And I try to teach people that everything is about a transfer of energy, you know, you know, at its core. And I think, you know, because I talked a little bit on here that I’m attuned to Reiki. And so I become a little bit more sensitive to energy and frequencies in most people. So it’s my tonality over the phone. It’s the way I look at you when we’re in person, right? It’s a subtle gesture of me touching you on your shoulder. The different little things that can make people feel comfortable. Like then it’s not, it’s not even a sale. It’s just, we’re just two people having a great conversation. I’m making a recommendation. As a friend,
Speaker 2 00:16:36 My wife says to her clients is stopped by building relationship. So when we teach people how to sell with emotional intelligence, the first 40% of the time that we spend with somebody is just building rapport. If I really like this person, I’m invested into them. I want them to succeed. I want them to win. So we’re going to build that friendship back down. Now, 40% of the time should just be building rapport. And so that’s a process of matching and mirroring. It’s understand their tonality and adjusting your tonality. If somebody is really softly spoken and you’re really bald, and he was thinking really loud, it’s going to freak them out. What you’ve got to do is you got to learn to adapt, adjust, and respond to all the other people. I led a team of 17,000 people, and people would say, Daniel, I love working with you because I don’t feel like a number anymore. I feel like a human. So when I meet somebody and I’m selling, I want to get to know them. I want to lock them. I want to like the family. I want to like their business. And I want to be invested in them. And I call this flying their flag. I really want them to win. And so 40% of the time is just spent building rapport. And we’re going to that people and buyers care more about the relationship than anything else. It’s the relationship that removes the risk.
Speaker 1 00:17:58 I totally agree with all of that sediment. I want to get your thoughts. Um, you know, you said that you have one of your mentors, um, was Brian, Tracy, who I love. I’m a huge, huge proponent of, I wanna get your thoughts on leadership. You know, there’s lots of different styles of leadership. And I think this correlates well to Sallian, right? Because when you become, you led obviously large teams, your wife has as well. So much of it is buckle. But when people get into a position of leadership, the way that they fundamentally treat people, typically changes. They don’t treat them even like they would a customer, they treat them much worse. So I want to get your perspective on this type of thoughts, with how to lead a team.
Speaker 2 00:18:40 Well, Brian, Tracy, he would say leadership is not a toddle on your business card. And that’s how a lot of people treat leadership leadership. According to Brian, Tracy is the ability to get results through others. So when I’m teaching people leadership, I’m teaching them how to read the emotional makeup of other people. So your leader has to be emotionally aware and there’s a great resignation taking place on the planet right now, people are walking away from corporate America. They’re walking away from corporate Australia in the middle east where I used to live. There’s 76,000 job vacancies that have to be filled every single week. And the numbers show us that 50% of people are ready to fire the leader before they fired the business. Yeah. So a leader today, they have to be emotionally aware. They’ve got to understand how they solve problems and challenges and not everybody’s going to solve problems and challenges like you.
Speaker 2 00:19:40 I’m an aggressive, I’m a former straddling shame athlete. I want to win. When I work with my customers, I want to crush the competition, but I also have to understand that not everybody approaches problem solving like I do. And so we have to be able to look at our team members and figure out what are they complimentary strengths? And in saying, instead of saying, I need another 10 grand comedones on my team. I’m going to say, I need another nine people who compliment the grain Cardone. And that’s what grant successfully does. Secondly, all of us influence people in context differently. Grant is out there and he’s very influential and that’s great. He’s super optimistic, but that doesn’t work in all positions. So I don’t want an accountant. Who’s optimistic. I want an accountant. Who’s pessimistic who looks at all the mattresses. That’s wrong. That’s wrong.
Speaker 2 00:20:30 That’s wrong? Yeah, sure. So when I’m building a team and I help companies do this, we’re looking for complimentary positions. In addition, we’ve got people who are better at building relationships and some people are so good at building long-term relationships, but in sales, they get rewarded for that. In the first two or three years, these people are farmers and they can build relationships for life. But what tends to happen in a selling field? It’s the person who can produce results today, who gets re rewarded, but it’s churn and burn six to 12 months later, you got no customers. You got no repeat buyers. So the leader has to understand human psychology. And then they’re going to have a look at how people deal with policy and compliance. For me, I’m a rule breaker. I break the rules and if I was going to go get a pilot’s license, I can tell you on our don’t fly with me because I’ll be flying from the same of the pants. What you want is you want to pilot and to follow the S ops. So leaders today, we have to be able to look at other people. We have to understand human psychology and we have to build a team around us with complimentary strengths. And that’s how we win in today’s world.
Speaker 1 00:21:40 You hit on so many points. Um, I, yeah, there was a lot there, a lot of nuggets for everybody listening, especially, uh, leaders doesn’t matter if it’s sales or not, because it is true. I’ve worked for companies that shall remain nameless. Um, but you know, it was just like, Hey man, you’ve got about six months or get the fuck out. And, and I had, uh, you know, I have a conscience, right? And I, and I like, Hey, this isn’t like some people they can do it in six months at a high level. Other people will take them 18 months. And so I always tried to give people that space and really insulate the people that I’ve managed. And I’m just like right now, my, uh, one of my former reps, it turned out to be one of my best friends and his first, uh, six months, I wasn’t there.
Speaker 1 00:22:26 He didn’t write a single thing, struggled. I got in there. He was terrible. And then his first year, you know, he improved a hundred percent, but it was still not even close to our goal. Come this year. Um, I’m not no longer there, but the guys from the day, three years later, he’s now he’s one of the top producers in the company. Most people would’ve fired the kid, but I let him, we did. I did the training. I believed in him. I talked him up. I got him on 10 accident at Cardone university. And he said, you’re the only person that has ever managed me. That didn’t care about my production. You just cared about me as a person. And we just, we missing that so much right now in corporate America, where a lot of people will tell their culture and caring about people, but it’s all bullshit. They just care about the end results. And then you can get the fuck out if you can’t, if you can’t produce it. And their timeline, which I think is a real detriment to a lot of companies right now,
Speaker 2 00:23:22 I would be unemployable in corporate America because I don’t produce results fast. Now that’s nothing to do with my business success. My business success is incredible. Excel built three successful businesses. And I still have customers buying today who buying 20 years ago. Yeah. So my cost of acquisition is less than a cup of coffee. Other people have to spend $750 to get an appointment in the diary, which is what most coaches have to spend. I get it for the cup of coffee. I’ve got people who used to come and borrow money from our family pawn broking business, who started to buy my apparel when I built clothing, brand those people today, and my coaching clients imagine that they borrowing money at a Bolingbrook shop. They start buying your clothes and now they’re buying coaching services. Awesome. But what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to realize that people have a different approach and we need both.
Speaker 2 00:24:16 I’m not saying that my style is the best. We’ve got to have a blend of both, but we have to appreciate both. And we’re going to understand that we’re going to coach them through. So there’s people who are really strong starters, but they can’t finish. So we’re going to coach them through for future performance. And those people I’ve got a gentleman recently, he was earning $600,000 a year in real estate, but he couldn’t get to the next level because the leadership. And so he was looking for a job and I do a process called job matching. And I’m looking at your psychological profile and how that matches to a prospective employer. And I found him and I found a match for him. And I said, look, I think you can succeed over here. But what you’re going to have to do is you’re going to have to take a deep in income. And he said, I’ll do whatever it takes. So his income went from 600 down to about 200. And this year it’s on target for bat seven 50.
Speaker 1 00:25:07 Oh shit. There you go.
Speaker 2 00:25:08 Because he’s with the right leader. People appreciate his style. People who wouldn’t give him a rap over the knuckles when he needs it, because these taught performers get a little bit out of line. He appreciates it because he wants a strong leader and we’ll need that. And leadership, remember it’s the critical role in the organization. It’s the leader who sets the vision. It’s the leader who chooses the mission. And it’s the leader who reminds everybody on the purpose, you know, think about Moses parting, the red sea. He says, we’re going to part the red sea and we’re going to go to the promised land. And we’ve got to be able to articulate that promise land to our people. And once they know the promised land is good for them, it’s good for their family. It’s good for the community. And it’s going to make a massive impact on the planet. People follow and that’s led to
Speaker 1 00:25:53 Love it. It hit it, it hit it dead on, you know, that saying that people don’t leave bad companies, they leave bad leaders. Right. And, and I think we’re, I think we’re seeing a lot of that, especially in this new gig economy, you know, Hey, I can go create my own NFTs and become a millionaire overnight. I don’t, I don’t need you anymore, but no, all kidding aside. I think you’re spot on that. You know, I wanted to talk to you cause I, I told you when we were chatting, um, uh, through a LinkedIn that I loved your video on the hypnosis. Is that something that you put into your practice? Uh, because when I got to just consequently, the lady that was a Reiki master, she was also a hypnotherapist. And so I got a little bit of both, you know, just kind of, uh, being around her and involved in her circles. I wanted to kind of get your thoughts on how you use that. Or if you do with your clients,
Speaker 2 00:26:44 I’m pretty at the, my, my wife, my mind is wide, a little bit different. I grew up with learning disabilities and I was diagnosed with learning disabilities at age 11. And then they put me in this room at school and it was cool. I slept, and I thought the space lab was for these future astronauts, but it was for these kids who are off the planet. Well, my mind works a little bit different to most people. I don’t tend to think linear. I tend to think more lateral. And so hypnosis is a process of lateral thinking and hypnosis is the fastest way to re why the mind. So, but I’m working with business people. I have hypnotized groups of people of up to 1300 people, oh my gosh, same pond. And they get rapid challenge because what happens is a thought without an emotion is useless, but a thought multiplied by an emotion becomes powerful.
Speaker 2 00:27:40 And I have a program and it’s called 160 and eight. And what I’ve learned with human potential is we can take our DNA. And if we stretch it out into a straight line, it would reach to the sun and back to the earth, more than a hundred times, we’ve got unlimited potential. And we’re going to start to tap in to this type of potential. And when we start to use hypnosis, the conscious and the unconscious mind integrate, and they start to work together and it creates a supermind. So I’ll give you an example. This gentleman name, Paul that’s his real name. You got to remember he’s he’s name’s pole. He, he came to my event. He had just had a broken marriage. He was working in hospitality. His daughters wouldn’t pay attention to him. He was fat and he was lonely and he was broke and he sent me his car.
Speaker 2 00:28:26 He sold his car to come to my event in the United Kingdom. And he said, Daniel, I want to get a job in sales, but I don’t believe in myself. I’m fat. I’m overwhelmed. Nothing’s working for me. And I said, um, well, come on in, I’ll show you what we do participate. Come with an open mind. I said, your mind is like a parachute. And so what does that mean? I said it only works when it’s open. So come in with an open mind. And he came in, he said, bill, I’m going to tell you I’m an atheist. And I said, well, good for you. Congratulations. And I said, what does that mean? He said, I don’t believe any of this past life bullshit had the interesting thing. He’s name’s Paul. We start to do a past life regression, which is a form of hypnosis. And he starts to go back and he goes, I don’t believe in this stuff. And I said, well, let’s just keep going. And he goes back through these lifetimes. And all of a sudden, he has a memory of him being alive 2000 years ago. And he starts crying. I’ll send you the .
Speaker 2 00:29:22 And I believe in this stuff, and I said, your name’s Paul rot. And I said, what was happening 2000 years ago? And he goes, I was a follower of Jesus. And I denied him, oh God, to cry. I’ve got to on video. And he said, oh my gosh. And see what happens is we have these emotions and the emotion of guilt impacts our performance. And there’s five types of guilt. And what impacts sales people is the second type of guilt. It’s when you set a goal and you don’t achieve it, if you set a goal and you don’t achieve it, you feel guilt. And then what happens with guilt? It lowers your energetic levels in your body. So you can’t perform. So Paul we’re using hypnosis resolve this memory. Look, I don’t know if it’s true or not, but mine is pretty open, right? And he comes back.
Speaker 2 00:30:09 He gets a job in sales. He starts selling kitchens. The company he worked with had 1500 sales people. He’s got no experience, but he’s got self-belief and he’s got confidence. He’s got optimism. He’s now got resiliency within a year. He was in the top three sales people in that organization with $2 million of on target earnings. Wow. The following year he was coaching, leading and training. The organization incredible was hypnosis. He didn’t learn any new skills. He just rewired his mind and he had to get rid of the guilt. And he had to raise that level of confidence that self-esteem and that self worth, and that changed his life. So that’s how I use hypnosis.
Speaker 1 00:30:48 That’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing that. Um, and I’ve done a little bit of past life regression work, so I’m right there with you. It’s not something I talk about often on here. Uh, but I think all of that, I mean, at least for me, I think it plays a part and, um, you know, how I, how I interact with the world, but kind of going on, um, th the, the guilt aspect into the thing that struck me, and I was thinking about my hat. Right. And, you know, grant talks about setting massive goals. Right. And so how do you think of goal setting? Because as salespeople, you know, especially for me, I always want to set big stretch goals and oftentimes I don’t hit them, but I, I ended up a lot better off than I would have. I had not stretched my, my goal, but it does piss me off when I, and I don’t perform the way I want. So where does that kind of, that, that, that middle ground, if you get what I’m saying?
Speaker 2 00:31:43 Well, that’s where I, I like grant setting these big grandiose ideas. However, what you’ve got to understand with grant Cardone is he’s an away from motivated person. So this is what grant says. I wake up in the morning and I’m park and I go out there and I fight now a wife from motivation works really well. If you’ve got somebody telling you every single day, you’re never going to succeed. Taz. You’re never going to make it. It’s not going to work for you. You’re going to fail. And what you do is you I’m going to prove myself. And so it’s good for people who really want to prove themselves. However, what we’ve got to understand is that if the goal is too big, the unconscious mind doesn’t accept it. Your conscious mind is the goal setter, but your unconscious mind is the goal getter. And whenever we set a goal, that’s 10% outside of our comfort zone automatically we start to get into what’s called self sabotaging behaviors, or the conscious mind says, I’m not prepared for this.
Speaker 2 00:32:41 I don’t have the bad highbias I don’t have the resources to make this happen. It’s not true. I’m at a hundred thousand tonight, a million, 10 million. It’s white, too much. Yeah. And so at the unconscious mind says, this is not possible. And it won’t generate the behaviors. And the reason why it won’t generate the behaviors, because you automatically know you’re going to fire. And so this is what used to happen to me. I would set these big Tenex goals, but I’ll starting over here. I would succeed in, I’d go beyond the average, but then I’d still beat myself up for that gap. Right? And so call this an unfulfilled expectation. And again, that triggers guilt. Nobody wants to feel guilty. So when we set our goals, what we have to do is we have to have goals that are realistic for us. And we’re going to just have these calls that just 10% at a time.
Speaker 2 00:33:34 And eventually I have a time by the law of incremental improvement. Yeah. She will get 10 X. Yes. She will get a hundred X, but you’ve got to start small. It’s like a, like a child. You wouldn’t put your six year old child on a push bike without training wheels. Right. You wouldn’t set it up for failure, but we do this to ourself all the time. So bringing it back to basics. And then what happens is you start to build yourself a track record of success, and you say, Hey, I increased it by 10%. What we’re going to know is that high performers double their income. Every seven years, average performers take 70 years to double their income. The average person increase their income by two to 3% a year. So we look at the numbers. Let’s just stretch out the time 10 X is possible. Not this year, absolutely guaranteed seven years from now, but we’re going to be con to, so we have to have that track record of success that builds up self-esteem self-worth confidence. And most importantly, it’s conviction. I’ve done it once I can do it again. I’ve never done it. The mind says, nah, you not going do it in the future track record of success, make it easy for yourself.
Speaker 1 00:34:40 Oh man, that’s powerful. And it gives me a lot of perspective because I have done that in the last seven years, you know? Well, if you look at, when I graduated, since I graduated college, wherever that was 13 years ago, I have 10 X, my income, but it’s, it’s been, it’s been great. It’s been, it’s been a fucking road, but, uh, but it’s been gradual, but I’m still not where I thought I would be when I graduated college. If that made sense. Right. I thought for sure, by the time I’m 37, I tell him, yeah, I’d be making well over seven and the seven figures and, uh, having a seven figure net worth versus making seven figures a year, two different things. Right. And, um, and I’ve been kind of frustrated with how to, how to measure that gap for me personally, of how do I set high expectations for myself, but ones, right. Don’t beat myself up because I feel like I, especially in this last year, I was pretty hard on myself. I made a big switch and, um, it was, it was tough. I didn’t have the results I wanted and I couldn’t really pinpoint why. And I said, you know, maybe I just, I set the bar too high and I let myself down, I’m kicking my own ass a little bit. So I, I definitely,
Speaker 2 00:35:50 But it’s, self-regulate, it’s self-regulation. And what we have to do is whenever we set the bar too high and we don’t jump over it, we have a feeling of unfulfilled expectation. We haven’t lived up to our own expectations and oftentimes they’re unrealistic. So we’ve got to get back to then self-awareness what are my strengths? What are my limitations? And I did this for many years. My first goal for coaching was $20 million in my first year, who was my buddy side hustle.
Speaker 2 00:36:23 But I thought just because of who I am in my optimism, I can achieve it. My optimism, which is my superpower is also my kryptonite. It was my weakness. And I set myself up for failure. I would never do it to anybody else. I’d never do it to my children, but I did it to myself. And so over the years, I’ve had to learn to regulate that thing. Even for yourself, it’s something you say, okay, well, what have I learned in Brian, Tracy? He talks about a quick analysis, knowing what I now know. And at the end of every year, which, you know, I was watching one of your other episodes, people tend to do new year’s resolutions at the end of the year. It’s very symbolic, but at any time of the year, we can stop and ask ourself the question, knowing what I now know, what would I do differently? And sometimes it’s not about our marketing strategy. Sometimes it’s about our level of self-awareness and better attend to that.
Speaker 1 00:37:14 That’s beautiful. Just kind of piggybacking up in one of my last questions for you, um, is, you know, we’ve talked a little bit about corporate leadership and we talked a little about goal setting, individual goal setting, but you see this a lot too. And this is something that I always hated doing as a, as a leader is that people will assign. If you’ve got a team of 10, all 10 people get the same goal. And I always thought that was a little bit bullshit because it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me because of what we’re talking about of the self-regulation part, the self-awareness part of how people measure themselves. I know that I’m going to have the average people, a little bit subpar that they got to work on and they’re gonna have the people they’re going to crush it. No doubt. So as a leader, how are we even as a company, how should they be looking at kind of setting their goals in a way that’s maybe fair or appropriate?
Speaker 2 00:38:05 We’re going to do it at tend to something that precedes that I’m going to look at the culture. Sure. It’s a problem in the culture. And so when I was in real estate, I was 20 and my boss come and he said, Daniel, we’re going to do a pink performance month. This month. This is going to be the month where we make so much money. You’re going to make more salad. You’re going to make more commissions. And I said, what does it involve you? So we’re going to work 30 days this month. I said, then when he goes, we’re going to make a ton of money. I said, then what am I going to do? He goes, then you’re going to invest it. And I said, sounds like you need more money. And he looked at me. He said, not, this is for you. I said, this is not for me.
Speaker 2 00:38:37 This is for you. I said, well, what about me? I need to chase the girls. I need that sexual feeling. I’m a 20 year old man. I’ve got a drink. I’m going to go and play sports. What are you doing to me? And so he went out and did this peak performance month. And by the end of it, he was, he came into the office and I thought he looked like he’d been taken heroin. He’d totally burned himself out in 30 days. And here am I just still cruising along getting predictable results. Right? So he was done the psychological roller coaster up and down, up and down, up and down where I was just producing predictable results. And my personal psychology flat-lining is not a negative thing. Flat-lining is positive because I could maintain that positive emotional state throughout the entire month. And I knew about burnout.
Speaker 2 00:39:23 So I didn’t want to get burned out. I let him get burned out. And then the following month, he didn’t come to work for any time up. Cause he was supposed to coach up. He didn’t ask me, he didn’t ask me Daniel, how many times you want to get lied? This month? He should have asked me, I would’ve told him. I told you I want to go out drinking. I would’ve told him say, nobody asks you when it comes to setting targets. What’s important to you. Tell me about your life. So as, as late as we have to do, what’s called navigational coaching. We’re going to ask our individuals, what is it that you’re aiming for? And how can this business be a vehicle for you to achieve your goals and their way get them contribute to your success? The company says employees contribute to the company. Success accompany today with the new generation has to say, how can I contribute to your success? And let’s do it together. And that’s the culture shift we’re going to make? Not just in small business, not in large business, but also in corporates. It’s got to change. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:40:25 Well, I don’t, I don’t know about in Taiwan or, and I’ll show you, but here it’s, it seems like it’s very slow to start to make that progression. Um, it’s, it’s very interesting. It’s very, it’s somewhat concerning because of where we’re at. And like you were talking about with the, uh, you know, people having a hard time finding people to hire, you know, and I, and I don’t think that that’s going to get even any easier in with the way that the market is. If you come on and that’s your mentality, you’re going to lose people to competition all fucking day long. And, and these people don’t get it at all. It’s crazy
Speaker 2 00:41:04 That doesn’t matter. Likening around the world. I felt the shoe. I mean, through when I was working in Emirates airline, I moved to Dubai in 2007, I started working with Emirates to the night and I met so many intelligent people. I have a very good friend, Dr. Hannah Sharif, and she was a dentist living in Egypt, but she came to work in Dubai because she could travel and see the world and make 10 X more as cabin crew than she as a doctor. The wage for doctor in Egypt was 300 us dollars a month. She could have not 3000 a month being Kevin Curt. So she said, I’m prepared to walk away to travel the boat and to understand myself. And we had this philosophy is Kevin crew is we wanted the millionaire’s lifestyle, but we were happy to have the lemonade wage. And so well we’re happy.
Speaker 2 00:41:56 All of us want happiness. All of us are chasing peace of mind. And my team of 17,000 people walked away from what was known. They went into the unknown and they pursued their dreams. They traveled, they met people. They stayed in lovely hotels. They stayed in crew accommodation, but they were happy. And we look at our parents and say, you’ve grinded for your whole life. And you’re still fucking miserable. Yeah. We’re happy to do the grind. However, we want to be rewarded with joy and happiness. We want fulfillment. We want peace of mind. And you have to bring this back in peace of mind is not like putting my finger and my index finger together and humming mm. Dying that it’s not chanting Harry Krishna. It’s none of that. It’s I want to feel good about what I’m doing every day. If I’m going to commit 2000 hours every year to this job, I want to feel good. I want to feel alive. So we’re going to make the shifts and companies have to reinvent themselves. And we have to say who you Daniel, and how can we contribute to your life and what will happen because of the law of reciprocity. And we’ve heard this in the Bible before do unto others, as you want others to do unto you do unto your employees, how you want them to do onto the company. Right. Have to get back to that golden rule will succeed. Yes.
Speaker 1 00:43:11 Yeah. I think that’s, uh, a great place to leave it. Um, and I hope there’s a lot of people out there entrepreneurs that if you’ve got a company, uh, you know, make, make, make the shift because you’re going to lose a lot of great people, you know, invest in your people. And I, and this is another thing that is near and dear to my heart. Um, but I’m, I was always happy if I could help develop and foster someone to go out and to start their own business and to go on to a better opportunity, to make more money where some people are so petty, you know, uh, they get on and start looking at people’s social media. Well, you got a side hustle. You’re not giving me a hundred percent at work where I was wanting to encourage that and foster that my employees like, Hey, man, if you work here for a year, you work here for a year. I expect you to give me 120% and we can always part as friends and you, and you don’t see that type of sediment anymore. And even to the point where I’ve been to, you know, try to get screwed out of compensation for leaving for a better opportunity and stuff like that. And I think it’s just a really bad way to do business. Uh, overall for a lot of people, we’ve got to start to make some shifts.
Speaker 2 00:44:17 I’ll tell you the best side hustle. It’s a law that the same. I had a client, she was a stripper. And she said, Daniel, I make a ton of money being a stripper. And my side business is a coaching business. And she, you used to recruit clients from being a stripper. As you said, dinner was the best thing they would pay me two and $3,000 a month to coach them. After I met them, she said biggest. When they came to the strip club, they were lonely. They were lost. And I got them back on track, best side hustle I’ve ever seen. And I never heard her employer ever complain.
Speaker 1 00:44:48 Oh, that’s, that’s awesome. Um, Dana, where can people find you find your work? If they want to connect with you,
Speaker 2 00:44:56 Connect with me directly. I love what they say. I’m not preaching the Bible. I just love some of the quotes at knocking the Deauville. I’ve been right to me personally, daniel@danieltulsan.com. I’m happy to jump on a Skype or a zoom call and say, hello, come and talk to me directly. I’ll tell you stories of what other people are doing and give you some inspirational ideas of handling your time. So I would just write to person Daniel, Daniel tulsan.com or if you’re a little bit shy, start at the website, Daniel tolson.com.
Speaker 1 00:45:22 Perfect. Well, I will list a Daniel’s email and his website. So anybody who wants to email him and link up with them, I would highly encourage you to do so. And has his website. If you guys want to go check it out, it’s a beautiful website. There’s awesome videos on there. I had a fun time. I said watching some of Daniel’s videos. Um, I, I, you know, there’s not very often, uh, I think I could talk to somebody for three or four hours and I, and I definitely feel that way with you. So I appreciate you. I’m grateful for you. And, uh, thanks so much for giving your time to me and everybody listening
Speaker 2 00:45:55 Anytime. Let’s do it again.
Speaker 1 00:45:57 Absolutely.
